A friend of mine asked a few questions in the comment section after my last post. He also cited a June 2016 article published in the New York Times Magazine. The article was titled “Choosing a School for My Daughter in a Segregated City” and was written by Nikole Hannah-Jones.

I decided to share my response and open the topic up to further discussion. I want to thank Brandon for bringing up a tricky issue: where to live and where to send your children to school. These are difficult questions for me, and maybe for you too. First, I want to share a bit of personal history.

When my husband and I returned to Cincinnati after college, we moved to a diverse suburban neighborhood we loved. We lived there for 2 years and then moved out of state, only to return to Cincinnati 3 years later. The neighborhood we loved had started to decline so we moved to a different suburban school district that was known for its diversity.

But over time, we started to hear about problems in the district and we witnessed several neighborhood kids falling through the cracks at the high school. At this time, we had our first child and moved once again. This time, we opted for great schools and a safe community. Unfortunately, this decision landed us in an extremely homogeneous community with little to no racial, ethnic, religious, or income diversity. It’s exactly like the childhood community where I grew up. My kids are living in the bubble I was hell-bent on avoiding.

I tell myself my kids’ experience is different because they are exposed to diversity outside our neighborhood and we talk about differences all the time. My children know about aspects of diversity I didn’t even know existed until college. As a family, we routinely acknowledge that our neighborhood does not represent the “real world.”

However, I cannot escape the guilt I feel. I think about moving or sending my kids to different schools on a regular basis. I check the real estate listings constantly. I weigh the pros and cons of living where we are now vs. a different neighborhood or school. We are trying to do what is best for our kids while also recognizing that our decisions have unintended and problematic consequences.

I also recognize that our decision to live in our current neighborhood is possible because of the privilege that comes with our skin color and economic class. The New York Times Magazine article is fantastic and I encourage everyone to read it. The author addresses the challenging issues related to selecting schools and echoes the struggles many parents face.

It also describes how the education system is built on racism, classism, and housing discrimination (which was legal until 1968). The system is wholly imperfect, unfair, and biased against people of color and the economically disadvantaged.

What choices have you made regarding where you live and where you send your children to school? How do those decisions make you feel?

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